Walking around campus, Two Bits noticed that this campus needed a pick-me-up. The student body is just too stereotypical. We need more freaks. Here are some things you can do to make the campus more interesting:
When walking around campus, just say "hey." Don't make eye contact with anybody and don't really direct it. If no one replies to your salutation, increase the volume and force of your "hey." To make it even more interesting, walk behind somebody and audibly talk to yourself. In your ramblings, be sure to include something specific about the person. For example, "I like green eggs, don't like ham, definitely don't like ham. Me like your green pants, definitely like the pants. Me want pants. Me take your pants. Kill. Hey."
For a change of pace, when dinning at Brittain go to the cash register in the archway and start dancing. Flail your arms and really get into it. Listen to that music in your head. It's speaking to you, just like those voices. When someone tries to talk to you, just chant, "If you wannabe my lover..."
If you want to freak out your roommate, start pretending you're living in the eighties. Sport the Adam Curry haircut and purchase all those "nice price" eighties CDs. Constantly play "Tainted Love" and all the Pink Floyd you can find. Be sure to wear photosensitive glasses, so you can be the cool guy that never has to worry about forgetting sunglasses.
Go to the shaft and rip paper bags throwing the pieces about on the ground. Chant while you are doing this. If anyone approaches you, say, "Don't step on their food, they get angry. If they get angry with me I don't know what I'll do. Hey."
Never bathe and always wear jumpsuits.
Launch an ad campaign that includes using some derivative of the word "shag" multiple times.
Roam around campus and proclaim you invented the shoe. Order people to pay you royalties. Persist in harassing them until they give you some money.
Choose a random person walking on campus and follow them everywhere. Sit behind them in their classes. Never make eye contact. If they turn around, look all around. If they go back to their dorm room, follow them in. Introduce yourself and say, "Gee, you look awfully familiar."
Friday, October 17
Enjoy the rain.
Saturday, October 18
Jump, Little Children @ Cotton Club
Tech @ Florida State 3:30 ABC
Sunday, October 19
Stone Mountain Scottish Festival and Highland Games
Zero @ Variety Playhouse
Monday, October 20
Phunk Junkeez @ Masquerade
Clean your room.
Tuesday, October 21
Go to the Music store and buy a new CD.
Wednesday, October 22
Discipline your roommate.
Thursday, October 23
Sneaker Pimps @ Cotton Club
Go to bed early.
