...Two Bits

...Two Bits

ATLANTA
November 20, 1998

Just in case you haven't finished your holiday shopping in the free time between homework and studying for finals, we at the Two Bits Research Institute, Marketing Division have polled the Technique Staff. See if your significant other might like one of these wonderful gifts. If you, out of the goodness of your heart, would like to provide any or all of these gifts, or simply large amounts of cash, please send to: Two Bits Research Institute Atlanta, Georgia 30332 Allison : A new blue Ford Explorer with a moonroof, but she says she'll settle for a VCR. You got that, Mom and Dad? Carrie : The Complete Neal Boortz library, and a Bill Clinton Dart Board. Christina Freyman : A 4.0. Well, maybe if you're not a materials engineering major! Christina "The Greater" Honea : Hanson dolls and a David Hasselhoff CD. You might want to use good taste and skip the David Hasselhoff CD. Genay : A private jet, and a new fraternity house. Greg : A lifetime supply of Chuckles, and possibly more Pez dispensers. The staff thinks voice lessons are an appropiate gift. Holland : Wants to understand the staff obsession with Dawson's Creek. Huda : Huda is not greedy like the rest of the staff. Josh : A vintage 1957 Fender Stratocaster electric guitar painted black, a Spanish tutor, and actual musical aptitude. Katie : Newt Gingrich's return to the House, maybe even the White House. After that she wants a crack at the seat of power. Katie Grove for President in 2016. Kim: A processor upgrade for her computer. Matt "Wax Rat" Bryan : To go to space, and possibly a ski trip when he gets back. Mindy : An 'A' in CS1502. Raj : To understand EE. (No one said these gifts had to be reasonable!) Selfless "Saint" Shad: World peace, end to hunger, poverty, child labor, AIDS and Cancer. However, he would trade that for a pack of Reds and a pint of Guinness. Scott : Cubs to win the World Series. He would also enjoy a collector's box set of Dawson's Creek tapes. Two Bits Man : My Pulitzer prize, and a chance to appear in every section of the 'Nique in the next year.

Copyright © 1998 by Gregory S. Scherrer, Editor and by the Student Publications Board

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