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I have some ideas on how we can improve the campus climate and make everyone here at Georgia Tech feel more welcome. Let's trade in the Ramblin' Wreck for a new gold 1998 Toyota Camry because it's more like what everyone would see back at home. Let's expel all the Freshmen who open their windows during finals week and scream at the top of their lungs at midnight because they might be waking up other students. Let's disband the Greek system and everything that goes along with it because not everyone has equal opportunity to participate in it. Let's no longer give the appropriate response to "How 'Bout them Dawgs?" because urinating on an animal could be seen as cruel and inhumane. Let's not refer to ourselves as Yellow Jackets anymore because by only picking one yellow insect as our mascot it could be construed as discrimination against other yellow insects. Let's not forget about our Ivan Allen College students out there; we must rename our school the "Georgia Institute of Technology, Management and History" in order to ensure that everyone will be able to share the same pride in our beloved Institute. Finally, it seems that our fight song as it currently stands does not represent the beliefs of the entire student body, it glamorizes drinking and portrays women as people who are not capable of succeeding.
[Revised version of "Ramblin' Wreck on page 11.]
Clearly, what I have written is satire. A committee of 19 people of whom only 6 are students organized in the name of diversity is a farce. I imagine that some of the people who sat on the board never attended this school as a student and can thus have no real idea as to what it means to be a Georgia Tech Yellow Jacket! Want to change the song, Diversity Committee? Do it the only fair way: put it to referendum. Until then here's a bottle of whiskey and a barrel of rum for all of my jolly good Tech women and men of every background; drink it if you want. To Hell with Georgia!!!